I was so excited about actually going to be able to come to college and just starting another and new part of my life. My first couple of days were absolutely fantastic. I was enjoying myself very much. But some things went down back home after I got here and were starting to effect me and my outlook and everything here and around me. Every time that I would get a phone call I would dread that it would be someone from home and I really didn't want to talk to anyone at all. I wouldn't say that I was depressed, but I definitely was down, and letting everything that was happening in my life back home eat away at me.
This past week I have come to realize that I can't let anything effect me from back home because there is nothing that I can do about it even if I wanted to. So emotionally I started to try to get myself back on my feet so to say because I had been screwed up inside more than I had been in a while. This was somewhat successful but I still was feeling awful.
Then Wednesday I went to youth group at church. The speaker started talking about purpose and vision. I realized that I really hadn't thought of either one of these items, and it really hit me hard. It meant so much to me because I hadn't really thought about finding a purpose or a vision for my life. I just always sort of went with go with the flow. Go where ever life takes me. But at that point, I did realize that my purpose was not to worry about what went on back home, but instead to study and to get to know people and start to make friends. As far as vision goes, I am still looking for that right now. I really have no clue what I want my vision to be. But I do definitely know that I don't just want to go with the flow anymore I actually want to do something important and meaningful with my life.
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7 comments:
hey, I'm Tony and I'm in the other english 101 class. Its good to see that you really want to do something with your life. I'm glad for you and your college experience. Keep on pursuing God and He will bless you more than you could ever think. keep writing!
Hey, yea things can definitely affect you hard emotionally, especially when you have no control over them, but like you said you did wed. night, just continue to go to church and bible studies and such and search for that purpose. Try, as hard as it may be, to be content in your life and God will continue to bless you
I just want you to know that God never gives us more then we can handle. Trust me! My past tries to creep up and get me down too. We can't change our past or what is going on at home we just need to give it to God.
Hey! I'm in your 101 class with Dr. Randle. There are lots of books on vision and purpose at Lifeway and my youth pastor back home did a sermon series on the book of Nehemiah, and the main theme was vision...so you could check that out too!
I can kind relate to your "down" feelings. Though they are not for the same reason, maybe it can give you some comfort in knowing that others are dealing with similar aspects of life. That's all we can do really...is move forward and take things one teeny step at a time. It's too overwhelming to think of a day that is not even garunteed.
I just wanted to let you know that God has amazing things in store for you. You may not know them yet but He does. He will take you down the road that He wants you to be down. And as for your past. You just have to let it go and let God take the driver's seat. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you or pray for you about.
Hey, just know that there are definitely people who feel like you. I know what you mean when you said that you know that you want a vision for your life - something meaningful, you just don't know yet.
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